Old

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Life’s a beach – and then you die.

Ageing disgracefully: Vicky Krieps, Thomasin McKenzie, Luca Faustino Rodriguez and Gael García Bernal

Horror films have addressed many disturbing issues except, perhaps, for the most terrifying of all. Indeed, it’s an issue that affects more and more of the global population – and there’s probably a movie in there somewhere. Unfortunately, Old is not it. But who will pay to see a film about the horror of ageing? That creeping loss of sexual desire, mental acuity and unlimited stamina, the onset of teeth decay, incontinence and, eventually, “second childishness, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything…”

The concept of M. Night Shyamalan’s Old is simple enough. A group of tourists visits a private beach on a tropical nature preserve and, unable to leave, start ageing at an alarming rate. We learn that the “special” rocks surrounding the beach – “a natural anomaly” – speed up the cellular degeneration of those trapped onshore. Maybe our vacationers should have cottoned on sooner, as there’s no phone signal, no fish and the rapper Mid-Sized Sedan (Aaron Pierre) has an on-going nosebleed. In fact, they all seems to have something wrong with them, including our heroine Prisca (Vicky Krieps) who, early on, is revealed to have an “irrelevant medical condition.” Ha!

The trouble with M. Night Shyamalan is that he’s determined to make sense of the senseless, to make the supernatural scientifically plausible. From the opening scene – in which Prisca and her husband Guy (an eternally boyish Gael García Bernal) are driving their kids to the resort – Shyamalan stuffs the dialogue with clues about ageing. But when things get going, his structure evokes the episodic nature of the low-budget anthologies beloved by that old British horror stable Amicus Productions. There are a number of stories to tell, an upcoming divorce to be resolved, the vanity issues of Chrystal (Abbey Lee) and two of the youngest girls popping up with breasts. Yet all this is treated with the utmost seriousness, with the numerous laugh-out loud moments entirely unintentional. “The dog’s dead!” captured the biggest mass guffaw.

There are some nice touches later on, but by then the horse has bolted. Vicky Krieps comes off best – snatching dignity from the jaws of inanity – and makes a very attractive older woman. Rufus Sewell comes off worst, barking “I’m a doctor!” at anybody who will listen. One would think he was a handy addition to the motley crew, but with a nurse and a psychologist among the unfortunate holidaymakers, he comes a poor third. But perhaps the daftest line is uttered by one character (who shall remain nameless) who sighs, “And we never had a prom. It’s not fair.”

JAMES CAMERON-WILSON

Cast
: Gael García Bernal, Vicky Krieps, Rufus Sewell, Alex Wolff, Thomasin McKenzie, Abbey Lee, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Ken Leung, Eliza Scanlen, Aaron Pierre, Embeth Davidtz, Emun Elliott, Gustaf Hammarsten, Alexa Swinton, Kathleen Chalfant, Francesca Eastwood, Nolan River, Luca Faustino Rodriguez, Mikaya Fisher, Kailen Jude, M. Night Shyamalan, Matthew Shear, Daniel Ison.

Dir M. Night Shyamalan, Pro M. Night Shyamalan, Ashwin Rajan and Marc Bienstock, Screenplay M. Night Shyamalan, inspired by the graphic novel Sandcastle by Pierre Oscar Levy and Frederik Peeters, Ph Mike Gioulakis, Pro Des Naaman Marshall, Ed Brett M. Reed, Music Trevor Gureckis, Costumes Caroline Duncan, Sound Sean Garnhart.

Blinding Edge Pictures-Universal Pictures.
108 mins. USA. 2021. Rel: 23 July 2021. Cert. 15.

 
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