Scream

The fifth instalment in the meta-slasher franchise thinks it’s smart and hip but it is really, really repetitive and senseless.

The fans can decide. “In this town, the fans are going to be the ones that win,” winks one character. Another, breathlessly breaking the fourth wall, winks, “anybody can die in a requel*.” But the big question is not why Courteney Cox, David Arquette and Neve Campbell have returned for more of the same, but whether or not this Scream is worse than Halloween Kills, the last Halloween outing. It’s a tight race. If you’re confused, there’s a lot of explaining going on in the movie, which may illuminate or just bewilder newcomers to the franchise. Wearily, Neve Campbell’s veteran survivor Sidney Prescott sighs, “I’ve seen this movie before.” And yet the characters continue to make the same old mistakes. Just as the authorities in Woodsboro, California, are constantly forgetting that there’s a serial killer on the loose, so the victims cite the ground rules of the original Scream (1996) – known as Stab in the film-within-the-film. And so Ghostface is back, quizzing his victims on horror trivia before stabbing them to death, while him- or herself miraculously survives a series of brutal reprisals, apparently unscathed. Just like Michael Myers in Halloween, Ghostface has the uncanny ability of appearing out of nowhere before plunging a knife into another disposable character.

For the uninitiated, a *requel is a remake that behaves like a sequel – and it’s a scary prospect. Truth be told, though, the only scary moment in the film is when Courteney Cox turns up with a new mouth, something she acquired since appearing in Scream 4. Scream may have an 18 certificate, but when the characters are cardboard cut-outs it’s hard to care how much blood they spurt or cough up. Our protagonist is Sam Carpenter, who turns out to be the daughter of the original killer, Billy Loomis, named after the good doctor Sam Loomis in Halloween. She is played by Melissa Barrera, who was so good in John M. Chu’s In the Heights, but who, in the interim, has forgotten how to act. One just hopes she fares better in her next film, the musical Carmen, in which she has the title role. The male characters are no less convincing, neither Wes (Dylan Minnette) – named after the father of the franchise, Wes Craven – nor Sam’s boyfriend, Richie, played by Jack Quaid, Meg Ryan’s son.

There are many, many things wrong with the new Scream. A big problem is that the screenwriters seem to have little knowledge of real human beings, or how they talk to each other. Another is that these teenagers live in enormous houses without any visible parents, which might explain why they keep their Ben & Jerry’s in the fridge door and not in the freezer compartment. In fact, real life is given little opportunity to intrude on the proceedings, which makes the whole thing a hare-brained and pointless exercise. It isn’t scary or funny or smart. The only glimmer of intelligence is when Tara (Jenna Ortega), Ghostface’s first victim, reveals that she thinks The Babadook is actually a better horror film than Stab. And then she’s stabbed.

JAMES CAMERON-WILSON

Cast: Melissa Barrera, Kyle Gallner, Jenna Ortega, Jack Quaid, Marley Shelton, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Mason Gooding, Mikey Madison, Dylan Minnette, Skeet Ulrich, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Sonia Ben Ammar, Reggie Conquest, Roger L. Jackson, Heather Matarazzo, Chester Tam. 

Dir Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, Pro William Sherak, James Vanderbilt and Paul Neinstein, Screenplay James Vanderbilt and Guy Busick, Ph Brett Jutkiewicz, Pro Des Chad Keith, Ed Michel Alle, Music Brian Tyler, Costumes Emily Gunshor, Sound Peter Staubli. 

Spyglass Media Group/Project X Entertainment-Paramount Pictures.
114 mins. USA. 2022. UK and US Rel: 14 January 2022. Cert. 18.